U.S. Politics

LOLOLOL—Ted Cruz is having an unusually terrible week

Meanwhile, New York Times columnists Gail Collins and (climate change denier) Brett Stephens discussed the Texas Senate race and hooooooooooo boy, you have to read Stephens’s stinging description of Ted Cruz. 

Help take back the Senate! Can you give $3 to Jacky Rosen in Nevada and Beto O’Rourke in Texas?

Bret: I share your enthusiasm for the Texas Senate race, for a couple of small reasons and one very big one. Small reasons: I like Beto O’Rourke, the Democratic challenger, and I like the idea that Texas can turn a bit purple if you have a candidate with energy, wit and a human touch. The big reason is that I despise Ted Cruz. That is “D-e-s-p-i-s-e,” in case I haven’t spelled out my loathing clearly enough. Would you like to know why? Gail: Oh, gosh, please go on. Bret: Because he’s like a serpent covered in Vaseline. Because he treats the American people like two-bit suckers in 10-gallon hats. Because he sucks up to the guy who insulted his wife — by retweet, no less. Because of his phony piety and even phonier principles. Because I see him as the spiritual love child of the 1980s televangelist Jimmy Swaggart and Jack Nicholson’s character in “The Shining.” Because his ethics are purely situational. Because he makes Donald Trump look like a human being by comparison. Because “New York values.” Because his fellow politicians detest him, and that’s just among Republicans. Because he never got over being the smartest kid in eighth grade. Because he’s conniving enough to try to put one over you, but not perceptive enough to realize that you see right through him. Because he’s the type of man who would sell his family into slavery if that’s what it took to get elected. And that he would use said slavery as a sob story to get himself re-elected. Otherwise, you might say I’m his No. 1 fan. Gail: Well, O.K. Not much I can add on that end.

OOOOF. THAT IS GONNA LEAVE A MARK. But, wait—there’s more. Last night Ted Cruz and his wife, Heidi, showed up to a swanky D.C. restaurant and were chased out by people chanting “We believe survivors!”

People can debate whether it is helpful to chase politicians out of restaurants or not, but it is difficult to find a lot of sympathy for Ted Cruz. In general I’d recommend finding another way to protest. These types of actions may backfire and rally right-wing support to Cruz’s side, even though members of his own party openly detest him. 


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